Monthly Archives: September 2008

The unliving

Have you ever wondered what it means when someone says that they are the unliving? Well for me this is what it means. The Unliving Death without death, Life without life, That is the unliving Empty and hollow, Of purpose, … Continue reading

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When

Did I die? When did I become such a failure? Face it, I am dead, my body just hasn’t figured it out yet.

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Dead Man Walkin’ – Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen

There’s a pale horse comin’ I’m gonna ride it I’ll rise in the morning My fate decided I’m a dead man walkin’ I’m a dead man walkin’ In St. James Parish I was born and christened Now I’ve got my … Continue reading

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Object Constancy

from : http://www.ahalmaas.com/glossary/o/object_constancy.htm Object Constancy The separation-individuation process leads ultimately to the development of the ego as a structure. Its final phase is that of object constancy, when the ego is formed and established as a permanent existence, separate from … Continue reading

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email to a friend

Liz, Sorry if anything lately has been “over the top.” Right now, I am in a terrifying place. I have never been as scared in my life as I have the last few months. I would say that I have … Continue reading

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 HOMELESS OLD GUY: [wheezing] I have no family, I have no friends. I didn’t even have a real job. If I die in peace, then I’m just another patient. But if I die suffering… CAMERON: [appealing] It’ll be horrible. Don’t do … Continue reading

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well…

that was fun..when I walked out of my hotel room there were two cop cars, an ambulance and a guy being led out in handcuffs….very lovely..lol 

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A “Normal” Day

well today was an uneventful day mentally at least lol..work went well…therapist went well…talked to her about all the entries from the last week…going to start talking about some of the issues from them…try to weed through it …make sense … Continue reading

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Sigh

With all the struggling I am going through right now, all the backsliding, I feel like I am failing/letting down anyone that believes in me. I don’t understand how anyone can believe in me. All I see is failure, loser, … Continue reading

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Thoughts

I wrote about this in my other journal more. Here is the executive summary. The person I was last year is dead or lost. All my confidence, belief in myself, my strength, everything gone. I am an empty shell with … Continue reading

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